Is This Really Hogwarts Anymore?
by absolutelycrazydiamond
Summary: A "chat room" like communication system between two lovers creates problems they never expected. An utter mess and complete satire- observe your beloved Potter characters tear their identities apart and making absolute fools of themselves all in the name of comedy. Please leave comments and do not expect this story to be in any way cohesive. Thank you!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters featured in the Harry Potter series. These characters are all owned by author J.K. Rowling

**EDIT: **Alright now that I fully understand why my story was flagged last time I will attempt to fix it without editing too much of the ridiculous shit out. This could be an absolute mess (more so than it already is) so i apologize and please bear with me. Personally the concept of adding feelings to this story makes me nauseas but maybe I can make it funnier with reactions- or at least less clusterfuckish.

Harry Potter's previously slate gray name glowed blue and Ginny Weasley sat up in her chair, pulling her keyboard towards her in anticipation. "_Snape's class sucked" _flickered onto the screen, and Ginny smiled as she drummed out a reply.

_"You should have just ditched!"_ She replied, leaning back in her chair to watch the typing symbol appear and disappear on her screen a few times before another reply was lit underneath hers.

"I_ couldn't, Snape would have killed me. Anyways… what class are YOU supposed to be in?" _Ginny laughed out loud before looking about apologetically, seeing the other girls in her dormitory glance at her with annoyance before returning to her work. Rolling her eyes she replied quickly.

"_That's beside the point…" _She could hear Harry's laugh in her head and smiled to herself again.

"_Well anyways, what did you call this application again?" _Harry questioned.

_"Hogline! It says it right on your screen, dumbshit" _Ginny typed, laughing quietly. She had found the computer application through Lavender Brown and it had since then helped eased the difficulties of dating someone that had been thrown head-first into OWL'S.

"_Right… and why are we talking on this thing when you can just walk over here and save the trouble?"_

"_Because I have homework." _Ginny typed, sighing as she glanced at the sheer volume of paperwork covering her desk around the small, thin laptop.

"_When has that ever been a problem?" _Harry replied, and Ginny couldn't help but seeing his side. She never usually let school work keep her from doing whatever the hell she wanted to, which most times involved being with Harry.

She thought angrily of her self-employed body guard and clacked out a reply: "_S__ince Ron is sitting outside the girls domitory room making sure I don't come out. He insists that I finish all of my homework, although I wonder whether he's thought through a bathroom strategy."_

"_Ha. Why the hell would he be watching you?"_

_"Because I don't trust you." _What the hell? Ginny leaned away from her desk in an attempt to look down the hallway from her room and faintly saw Ron's figure at the end, face illuminated by a small glowing light. A cell phone!

_"What the fuck, Ron." _She typed out fervently, swearing still more under her breath.

_"Yeah, WTF?"_ Harry replied.

"_So… you're TALKING again are you?" _Ron demanded, glaring down the hallway at Ginny, who instantly looked away to watch Harry's reply flicker onto the screen.

_"Ron, lets NOT jump to conclusions. Me and Ginny are NOT sleeping together!" _What a fucking idiot. Ginny contemplated many different ways of reacting to this, finally deciding 'when in Rome' and typed out one of the stupidest possible replies she could think of.

_"We aren't? Damn it…" _Laughing at the sheer idiocy of her actions, Ginny sat back to watch the show.

_"GINNY!"_ She could hear Ron's swears from the hallway and silently thanked Godric Gryffindor for not trusting boys enough to let them enter the girls dormitory.

_"Smooth move, Gin. Why don't you come up here and show me some more... I mean, what?"_ Harry's reply had Ginny spluttering in exasperated laughter that earned her a frustrated "Dude, shut up" from one of her roommates. "I'm sorry!" Ginny replied, still choking back giggles.

_"WHAT!?" _Ron had jumped up from his seat and started down the hall before stopping, breathing in deeply, swearing and sitting back down at his original spot.

Ginny thought for a moment before deciding not to pour any more gasoline on the fire. "_Should I leave now or am I already not even here?"_

Harry's reply confirmed for Ginny that he, too was in on the joke. _"Of course babe. Your always right here in my heart! 3 3 xo" _Silent tears of laughter were streaming down Ginny's face at this point.

_"AHEM. When the hell were you planning to inform me of your sexual relationship?"_

_"You sound like fucking Percy…" _Ginny rolled her eyes.

_"Woah- low blow Ginny." _Harry replied. Ginny forgot how fiercely Harry would defend Ron whenever anyone insulted him.

_"Yeah, slut. Shut it!" _Ginny's mouth dropped open and she attempted to type a furious response, but her fingers shook and Harry beat her to the punch.

"What._ The. Fuck."_ Finally managing to calm her hands, Ginny typed out her reply- all the well seeing red.

_"RON YOU BASTARD EXCUSE ME?" _Not the most original or intimidating remark, but Ginny felt as though she could be excused for having a fragile state of mind at the moment.

_"Yeah, Ron. Watch your language! *forms angry mob*" _Harry had a weird habit of describing actions that were almost absolutely not taking place. Ginny thought it was extremely annoying, but ignored it for now.

_"But she's a 6th year! How on earth do you sleep with a 6th year?" _The age-old argument. Literally.

_"Well first you take the…"_

_"HARRY LITERALLY SHUT THE FLYING FUCK UP!" _Ginny's blood boiled. An idiot, she was dating an absolute idiot. A gigantic perverted dumbshit idiot.

_"What she said!" _Ron replied furiously.

_"Go to hell, Ron." _Harry replied. This conversation was growing useless, Ginny thought. Still feeling sour and prepared to start a fight, Ginny responded.

_"Why don't you go to hell, Harry? FIRST YOU TAKE THE? You fucking immature pig"_

_"WTF? What the hell, Ginny?"_

_"Yeah, well... You didn't tell me the REST of that delightfull story!" _Here we go. Ginny got up and walked to her bed, rummaging through her trunk and fishing out a book. She threw herself down on the bed and began to read as her computer screen continued to glow.

_"Fine…" _Harry replied.

_"Go on…" _Said Ron.

_"So first you take the…"_

_..._

_"And that's how I slept with a 6th year." _Ginny saw Harrys last respond and chose to ignore the last half an hour of conversation.

_"3 words." _Ron typed. _"She's. My. Sister! I'm leaving."_

_"Altogether thats 7 words bro."_ Ginny sighed and tapped her index finger on the space bar a few times before continuing on. _"So whats wrong with 6th graders again?"_

The typing symbol flickered across the scene and died a few times before the clearly abashed Harry replied: _"Well they aren't... really as cautious?"_

_"Fuck off I'm on the pill dick. You know that."_

_"I hate it safe ;)" _Harry responded. Ginny gagged mentally at the windy face but pushed on.

_"So Ron has left, I assume." _Sure enough, tilting back in her seat Ginny saw that the hallway was now gloriously empty. Tipping back in her seat quickly her stomach lurched as if it did not want to return to the desk with the rest of her body. Holding her forehead she noticed a sheen of sweat and ducked next to the side of the desk and was sick into her trash can. She held herself up against the desk surface and jammed out a hasty response.

_"Where are you again?"_

_"What do you mean? I'm in the dormitory!" _He replied. "_You?"_

"_Girls dormitory. I was just sick babe."_

_"Oh really? Got sick… mood swings… and YOU were the one that just said you were on the pill" _Ginny spat into her trashcan angrily and grabbed her birth control from a side drawer of her desk. She was completely caught up- each pill packet was empty aside to the correct date.

_"I am NOT… what you are implying. It doesn't mean anything- I could've just gotten food poison or something!" _She doubted it. Ginny considered every meal she had eaten recently and couldn't think of anything that may have caused sickness.

"_I'll drop out with you." _Harry responded. Wait... what? No.

_"NO way. Mum would probably kill me. And blame you for everything!"_ Of course that wasn't true, Ginny knew that no matter what happened her mother would take Harrys side and assume he was talked into everything by me.

"_We could go to Canada- they have great health care or something, right?" _How many wizards live in Canada?

_"Oh shut up. And anyways, since when has Canada been a safe refuge for wizards?" _Ginny replied. It wasn't like she could ever drop out anyway- she had to make a living somehow!

_"LOVE YA" _Harry replied. Lovely

_"Ok then..." _Ginny typed, sighing in frustration.

_"ONE FOR ALL AND ALL FOR ONE"_ At this point Ginny had no idea what Harry was playing at.

_"What the bloody fucking hell?" _She was beginning to feel a headache coming on and tried to think up an excuse to leave the computer.

_"Watch your language. And i'll be right back… I heard something outside my door a second ago. Let me check…" _

AN: Well that was a flying heap of shit bricks but God did I miss this story. Enjoy everyone and review!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: … and I wanna give a BIG shout out to jk rowling, who actually OWNS these books and the characters in them. That's right. She OWNS them.

A.N. CHAPTA TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OH-OOOOH

Ginny Weasley: Harry It's been over two hours where are you?

Ginny Weasley: Harry?

Ginny Weasley: That's it; I'm going to the boy's dormitory. You better be there.

An undetermined amount of time later cuz I mean who honestly reads these random things I could say anything SQUIIIID… two hours later!

Harry Potter: Ginny? You there?

Ginny Weasley: Course' I am. And ugh… I'm so tired all of the sudden.

Ginny Weasley: So what's up?

Harry Potter: Will you come down to the hospital wing and fluff my pillow?

Ginny Weasley: Don't see why you're even up… but sure. I wish I could relax. I'm so exhausted. One sex… I mean sec…

Harry Potter: Damn! My cut reopened. Man. Sectome Sempera AND the Cruciartis and he didn't even get expelled. Wait… what time is it anyways? Shouldn't you be in class?

Ginny Weasley: I blew off potions. So I probably shouldn't go see you, or I'll miss divinations to.

Harry Potter: Fine.

Ginny Weasley: GOD! Are we breaking up? I AM TOO TIRED FOR THIS!

Harry Potter: Who said anything about breaking up? Again. Just to let you know… those were the worst moments of my life when we broke up.

Ginny Weasley: Speak for yourself. I went into like eternal hibernation or something.

Harry Potter: FINALLY my cuts stopped bleeding. And you should really come over here and sleep. Or go to the girls dormitory. Cuz you seem REALLY tired…

Ginny Weasley: Whatevs… before I pass out on the sheets I have to at least change though.

Harry Potter: I'm not watching… *sneaks up behind door* Jk

Ginny Weasley: Are you still in the hospital wing?

Harry Potter: Ginny, whatever you do don't stop typing. Keep typing. Hide your wand. Whatever you do, attack if you don't know someone, just KEEP TYPING!

Ginny Weasley: God your paranoid…

Harry Potter: Come down and see me?

Ginny Weasley: Ok, see you in a sec.

NOT a sec later…

Ginny Weasley: HARRY!

Harry Potter: Hey sexy =)

Ginny Weasley: Where have you been? I went down to the hospital wing to see you and you WEREN'T THERE!

Harry Potter: WTF? I've been here the entire time! Madam Pomfrey gave me a shot and then I fell asleep! And DAMN she just gave me another one.

Ginny Weasley: But you weren't there!

Harry Potter: I've been here, I swear! And FUCK OFF that's my 3rd shot bitch!

Ginny Weasley: Never mind your shots, when I went down Madam Pomfrey said you had to leave momentarily and you would be back. AND I WAITED FOR A WHOLE FUCKING HOUR!

Harry Potter: I was there! I swear to GOD!

Ginny Weasley: Then why didn't I see you?

Harry Potter: I don't know why you couldn't find me. I'm sorry.

Ginny Weasley: That's ok. I just feel so… pissy today.

Harry Potter: Ginny, it's ok if you HOLY SHIT MY ENTIRE RIGHT ARM JUST DISAPEARED!

Ginny Weasley: What the fucking hell are you talking about? Feel your arm; make sure it's still there… umm… call Madam Pomfrey or something! I couldn't see you but you were still there…

Ginny Weasley: Ron? Hermione?

Auto Response From Ron: Sex can't talk ;)

Auto Response From Hermione: With Ron

Ginny Weasley: Uh huh…

Hermione Granger: Sorry I'm here. What's up?

Ron Weasley: Yeah what do you want? Did that bastard dump you?

Harry Potter: I DID NO- MY LEG!

Hermione Granger: RON! Harry is not a B******!

Ginny Weasley: Bastard isn't really a bad word Hermy. Harry, what WAS in that shot thing?

Hermione Granger: HARRYS BEEN SHOT? RON YOUR SUCH A B******!

Ron Weasley: Hermione calm down! I didn't know the situation. Harry who gunned you?

Harry Potter: The HELL you didn't. Invisibility potion… AHA!

Ginny Weasley: Wait a second…

Ginny Weasley: Malfoy I know you're here… I CAN HEAR YOU SNICKER!

Harry Potter: What the fuck…

Draco Malfoy: *snickers*

**George Weasley: Why does everyone type in the same way?**

Ginny Weasley: AHHH! Oh hey…

Fred Weasley: GINNY LIKES HARRY HARRY LIKES GINNY IM TELLING MUUUUUM…

Ginny Weasley: NO!

Fred Weasley: Muuuum…

Ginny Weasley: FRED!

Molly Weasley: HARRY JAMES POTTER!

Ron Weasley: Now that's not normal…

Molly Weasley: I JUST FOUND GINNYS PREGNANCY TEST!

Harry Potter: WHAT?!

Draco Malfoy: WHAT?!

Ron Weasley: WHAT?!

George Weasley: Ya…

Cho Chang: Like ya like what like Harry like I like thought like you like liked like me like

Ginny Weasley: Like… this is awkward… I didn't even pass it! Right?

Hermione Granger: GINNY!

Fred Weasley: Oooo…

Draco Malfoy: Is this where I come in? *reads script* OH YEAH! IM GONNA TELL… um… MY FATHER!

Harry Potter: NOOOO! Wait why would he care? Why are you even here?

Draco Malfoy: JUST ACT SCARED!

Harry Potter: NOO!

Draco Malfoy: YES!

George Weasley: MABYE!

Molly Weasley: Where is Harry? *punches hand into fist and bangs cola can on head*

Ginny Weasley: Er… *uses quote from previous text to distract* First you take the?

Draco Malfoy: What the… AND ON THAT NOTE you should name your child after me =D

Ginny Weasley: Why would I name it after you?

George Weasley: Hm… Mom are you 7th out of 7 children just like Ginny?

Ron Weasley: IM 6TH!

George Weasley: WELL IM 4TH!

Fred Weasley: WELL IM 4 AND A HALFTH!

Ginny Weasley: WELL IM… 7th. Um… subject change to avoid awkward questions CHO YOU ARE SUCH A SLUT MONKEY!

Hermione Granger: Has everyone forgotten about me? And what the H*** is a S*** monkey?

Cho Chang: Like OH like Harry like you like had like sex like with like this like bitch like you like dropped like me like for like this like slut like?

Ginny Weasley: ME? THE SLUT? YOUR BOYFRIEND DIES AND YOUR SAD For, WHAT, 3 SECONDS? Then you just go off with Harry like any other SLUT would!

Fred Weasley: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

A.N. and on THAT note, RR! And sorry about cho ;) hope you enjoyed! I BE UPDATING SOON SO STAY TOOOOONED =D tootles


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I DIS CLAIMERS! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… sorry =(

A.N. YO YO YO MY NAME IS JOE AND I LIKE THE WAY MY COLORS FLOW =) hahaha and that's called creative expression children.

Molly Weasley: WHY HASN't ANYONE TOLD ME WHERE HARRY IS? HARRY JAMES POTTER!

Ron Weasley: Now THAT'S a second.

Percy Weasley: Your keeping track?

Ginny Weasley: PERCY!

Percy Weasley: Yes?

Ginny Weasley: *pukes*

Fred Weasley: WTF? Ginny just threw up!

Percy Weasley: What did she throw?

Ginny Weasley: No jumping to conclusions…

George Weasley: IM JUMPING!

Harry Potter: Well IM leaving.

Molly Weasley: Harry James Potter you stay RIGHT WHERE I WANT YOU!

Ron Weasley: HEY! That's my favorite song!

George Weasley: *cough*

Fred Weasley: Gaybo…

George Weasley: *cough*

Percy Weasley: My brother finally took up the family trait!

Draco Malfoy: Your gay too?

Percy Weasley: YA!

Draco Malfoy: Wanna have sex?

Percy Weasley: SURE!

Molly Weasley: PERCY!

Percy Weasley: WHAT? Dads gay too! Isn't that right? Oh come on… tell them the truth father! Tell them that you're really gay!

Molly Weasley: ARTHUR BOB WEASLEY!

George Weasley: Your middle name is Bob?

Arthur Weasley: Nice going Percy.

Molly Weasley: Is Percy telling the truth? ARE YOU GAY?

Arthur Weasley: Yes, Molly. I am gay.

Percy Weasley: I TOLD YOU SO!

Harry Potter: Ok. This is REALLY weird and I am DEFFINETLY leaving. AND I STARTED THIS CHAT!

Molly Weasley: I hope you know that I blame you for EVERYTHING! Even taking the car!

Harry Potter: Ok.

Harry Potter is offline

Percy Weasley: *gasps in horror*

Hermione Granger: Now that he's gone… FIRST YOU TAKE THE?

Ron Weasley: Who are you, Harry? Oh… he signed off.

Molly Weasley: Yes. And so am I. I'm going to beat the crap out of him!

Molly Weasley: HAIL MOLLY!

Molly Weasley is offline

Ginny Weasley: Yeah yeah yeah whatever… Is everyone gay these days? I think I'll sign of-AH!

George Weasley: Ah what? Ah pain or Ah soothing? OR Ah that's in between the two, that's used in…

Ginny Weasley: …soothing? Or uh… painful? NOTHING!

Hermione Granger: Where IS Harry? *punches hand into fist and beats cola can on head*

Draco Malfoy: Where's Percy?

George Weasley: Now that's just wrong… And Harry how did you even land your girlfriend in bed?

Ron Weasley: It's probably a) his six pack, b) his tattoo or c) his hair

Fred Weasley: Wow Ron… and honestly George? I think I've landed like 5… NO JUMPING

Ginny Weasley: IM JUMPING

George Weasley: Well no, Katie Bell… 15 times… Ah the good old days…

Ron Weasley: Where's my chocolate? Cuz its Fergalicious so delicious…

Ginny Weasley: Where's Hermione? *punches-

Hermione Granger: IM RIGHT HERE!

Fred Weasley: Hey I like that song! FERGALICIOUS DEFINISCIOUS MAKE THEM GIRLS GO LOCO…

Draco Malfoy: Actually it's make them BOYS go CRAZY

Fred Weasley: George, cut me some slack here? Um… *uses quote to distract people once more*FIRST YOU TAKE THE-

Harry Potter is online

Harry Potter: STOP USING MY QUOTE!

A.N. kind of a fail ending… but hey… whatever… and yes I am sorry about the first you take the… but it COULD be worse ;)

. I WANT YOUR LOVE AND I WANT YOUR REVENGE YOU AND ME COULD WRITE A BAD ROMANCE

BYE FO NOW =)


	4. Chapter 4

A.N. ok… this is an awkward place to keep writing but the chapter ended weirdly… sorry for the huge delay guys XD. Oh and uh… sorry about cho. just… sorry XD ohhhh and uh this was originally aim and most of the joke was in the aim screen names so some of the names are going to remain the original screen names because they are either essential that they remain that way or it's just to funny to get rid of.

Ron Weasley: It's a good quote.

Draco Malfoy: I agree.

Harry Potter: Ok I hate that quote now!

Percy Weasley: Because of my boyfriend?

Fred Weasley: Just don't go there. Don't go there.

Molly Weasley: Percy! You are grounded! Go to your room! NOW!

Cho Chang: Like is like this like where like I like come like in like? Oh like yeah like *reads like script like* I'm like telling like whats like her like face like? Oh like yeah like *reads like script like again like* I'm like telling like Bellatrix like Lastrange like.

Ginny Weasley: Uh… telling her what?

Cho Chang: LIKE THAT LIKE YOUR LIKE PREGNANT LIKE!

Harry Potter: You wouldn't dare!

Cho Chang: Like I like will like.

Harry Potter: I thought you loved me! *gasps*

Ginny Weasley: HEY!

Ron Weasley: Baby, you got the floor.

Percy Weasley : Ron, I'm ashamed of you!

Ginny Weasley: Tell him Percy!

Percy Weasley: She's a GIRL!

Ginny Weasley: …

Harry Potter: Ok Ron she's MY girl!

DaCaughtUpDude: Whatup?

Harry Potter: Who are you?

DaCaughtUpDude: USHER! Duh!

Cho Chang: Like what like are like you like doing like here like?

Ginny Weasley: Yeah, seriously. Not complaining or anything… BUT what are you doing here?

DaCaughtUpDude: Cuz you remind me of a girl, that I, once knew.

Ginny Weasley: *gazes upon beautiful facial features*

Harry Potter: *Glares with the ice cold intensity of hell and punches coke can on head* What does he have that I don't?

Ginny Weasley: WELL… an awesome, like, 27 pack, a sexy awesome voice, beautiful hair, good looks, the lips of an angel, and…

Harry Potter: So you would rather sleep with HIM than me?

DaCaughtUpDude: Yeah, that's TOTALY what she's saying!

Ginny Weasley: NO IT IS NOT! He would NEVER be able to land me in bed!

Harry Potter: Really? Truly? Honestly? Totally? You sure? I can hardly believe that USHER could not land YOU in bed.

Ginny Weasley: Well... maybe if he was REALLY desperate... no jumping to conclusions...

A.N. another really short one. sorry... no time :/ lol yeah once again SORRY ABOUT CHO CHANG and don't ask about usher i'm not sre how he got there...

i don't own any of these characters, j.k. rowling does


	5. Chapter 5

A.N. I'm like the queen of awkward chapter beginnings/endings lately… oh well. sorry. Oh God, I am SO SORRY about the Mwahaha… it was so long ago when me and my friend wrote this and it was just so weird, I'm really sorry XD I'm pretty sure they stop at some point…

Harry Potter: Desperate sex, huh? Well, I haven't had sex with you since, like, 2 days ago!

DaCaughtUpDude: Well I've NEVER had sex with you…

Ginny Weasley: And you never will.

Bellatrix Lastrange: Is this where I come in?

Lucius Malfoy: HEY! That's my line! I think… one sec *reads script… in an evil manor* Oh yeah! I'm telling the-

Severus Snape: No, no, NO! You guys don't come in until *reads script in order to assess whether or not his calculations are correct* section C fort B.123 with a dash of paprika!

DaCaughtUpDude: Uh-what? I think my brain just exploded.

Harry Potter: Cuz you're a retard who is NOT landing Ginny in bed.

DaCaughtUpDude: Wait, Ginny? I thought your girlfriend was Kate Winslet!

Harry Potter: … WHAT?

Molly Weasley: USHER ROBERT DUDE!

DaCaughtUpDude: Wait, is this the Titanic chatroom? And did you say Robert?

Arthur Weasley: Titanic chatroom? Is JACK in there?

DaCaughtUpDude: You're a woman, right?

Arthur Weasley: HOW DARE THOU!

DaCaughtUpDude: Ok NO. Just no. Anyways this isn't even my chatroom. Cuz Kate reminds me of a girl, that I, once knew…

DaCaughtUpDude has signed off, bitches!

Percy Weasley: WAIT! NOOOOO! Don't leve me like this! I love you! I can't live without your amazing 2 pack!

Ginny Weasley: 3 pack?

Fred Weasley: 4 pack.

Harry Potter: 6 PACK!

: Mwahaha I mwahaha am mwahaha Lord mwahaha Voldemort!

Cho Chang: Like hey like that's like my like thing like!

Ron Weasley: Lord Mwahaha? Who's that? MAYBE IT'S DUMBLEDORE!

Ginny Weasley: …

: Mwahaha Oh mwahaha Ginny mwahaha you mwahaha have mwahaha grown mwahaha into mwahaha such mwahaha a mwahaha fine mwahaha young mwahaha lady.

Ginny Weasley: I've grown into a fine mwahaha young mwahaha? What's a mwahaha? I think you might not be Dumbledore…

Hermione Granger: Are you kidding me? It's obviously Dumbledore!

: *Evil plotting… mwahaha* Mwahaha I'll mwahaha make mwahaha them mwahaha think mwahaha that mwahaha I'm mwahaha Dumbledore!

Harry Potter: You know when you type all of this down we can READ it…

Serious Black: WHO THE HELL IS THIS MWAHAHA?

Harry Potter: SERIOUS!

Cho Chang: Like who like is like this like Serious like person like? Like OH like isn't like he like dead like or like something like?

Harry Potter: Why ARE you a Ravenclaw anyway…

DaPhoenixLament: *dramatic entry* BUM BUM dadadadada DUM BUM dadadadadadadadada DUM!

Ron Weasley: YOU MUST BE VOLDE- I don't know how to spell it…

Ginny Weasley: …

Molly Weasley: It's ok Sugar Plum Fairy you lie down while I kill your boyfriend.

Harry Potter: I'm the boy who LIVED not the boy who got killed by his girlfriends MOM…

Percy Weasley: WAIT! Don't die! It's, it's too soon!:(

Harry Potter: Wait… what?

Molly Weasley: I GROUNDED YOU! OFF THE COMPUTER NOW!

Percy Weasley: Ok.

Percy Weasley has signed off


	6. Chapter 6

A.N. I'm really trying to get this finished… I have a notebook full and when I finish typing what's in the notebook I'll have to start writing off my head. YIKES!

Percy Weasley: Now I'm on the laptop!

Molly Weasley: Get off!

Percy Weasley: Ok, ok! Good bye!

Percy Weasley had signed off.

Again.

For now.

Harry Potter: OMG! WHERE IS HE? *Jaws theme music* Ginny save me! AHHH PERCY!

Serious Black: Everybody run! No man is safe no matter where he may be! But girls don't matter… they can stay where they are. EVERYBODY RUN! I WANT MY JAR OF DIRT!

Harry Potter: GET OFF OF ME PERCY! Wow I thought I'd never say that…

DaPhoenixLament: HARRY! Where is Voldemort! We must catch and defeat him! OH YEAH 10 POINTS TO ME FOR REMEMBERING MY LINES! Oops… I mean…

Harry Potter: Right now I don't even care about suspicious Dumbledore. Right now I have to worry about the man on top of me!

George Weasley: On Top as in better than you or ON TOP of you?

Harry Potter: ON TOP AS IN ON ME!

Ginny Weasley: I'll be right there! Percy you dink!

Hermione Granger: And a half!

Percy Weasley: No! Never shall I get off him! We were meant to be!

Lucius Malfoy: You said the same thing to my son and now he's in his room crying!

Molly Weasley: Get off Harry, Percy!

Percy Weasley: Fine!

Harry Potter: I can breathe!

: Mwahaha! Not mwahaha for mwahaha long mwahaha!

Arthur Weasley: Who ARE you ? I can't think of it… but it must be- LUPIN!

Serious Black: Is EVERYbody here clueless?

Ginny Weasley: Apparently.

Ron Weasley: Who are you calling clueless?

Cho Chang: Like you like retard like.

Hermione Granger: HEY, he's MY retard.

Serious Black: Wow. That line should be in Forrest Gump somewhere.

Hermione Granger: THANKS!

Serious Black: Anytime!

DaPhoenixLament: I SMELL LIKE SOAP!

George Weasley: Ok that's weird…

Harry Potter: CHOCOLATE!

George Weasley: Weird…

Draco Malfoy: PERCY!

George Weasley: Uhh… WEIRD!

Ron Weasley: Who are you calling weird?

Fred Weasley: You just like accusing people, don't you?

Ginny Weasley: I'm baaaaaaaack!

Harry Potter: SO AM IIIIIIIIII!

George Weasley: It just doesn't flow as well as back does.

Harry Potter: Whatever. Hey, did you hear? Usher threw himself off the Brooklyn Bridge cuz I blocked him off this chatroom!

Ginny Weasley: WHAT? THAT'S ABSOLUTLY DREADFUL!

Harry Potter: He thought you were KATE WINSLET, remember?

Percy Weasley: Who's Kate Winslet? A boy? If it's a boy, than that's a pretty shmexy name. If it's a girl I just don't care…

Harry Potter: KATE is a GIRLS name…

: Mwahaha my mwahaha uncle's mwahaha name mwahaha is mwahaha Kate mwahaha…

Ginny Weasley: STOP DOING THAT MWAHAHA THINGMABOBLET!

Severus Snape: "Boblet" is not a word, nor will it EVER be one.

Serious Black: Oh, go play with your chemistry set. And who says NOR anyways?

Bellatrix Lastrange: Well who says, and I quote: "If frogs could fly we'd all be carrots and no one would eat us cuz we'd be too sweet, man" ?

Harry Potter: Well, I DID meet this girl whose sn was LordPopozoa, and she said that all the time…

A.N. AND IN COMES THE O.C.S! : ) I'm LordPopozoa and my friend who I wrote this with is the other o.c. who has yet to surface : )


	7. Chapter 7

A.N. sorry about the long gap, and also sorry about the fact that at least two characters that i know of don't really have real names... so yeah. oops.

LordPopozoa has signed on

LordPopozoa: Well it's true, Harry.

Ginny Weasley: How long did you take "meeting" this girl?

Harry Potter: Oh, me and Annie go WAYYYYY back!

LordPopozoa: Yeah. Wayyyyyyyyyyyy back. Have any of you seen his totally shmexy tattoo?

Ginny Weasley: Ya, me. His GIRLFRIEND has. But when did you?

LordPopozoa: WELL, first you take the...

(A.N. i'm pretty sure that's the last time. so sorry.)

Harry Potter: Um- this was WAY before we started dating Gin, like... in the 4th year... hehehe...um.

LordPopozoa: You're CHEATING? Does "way back" refer to like a day ago?

Harry Potter: I-we-just talked-I told her like-that she-like had to stop chatting me because I didn't LOVE her- sorry Annie-I haven't loved you since 4th year- and we haven't had sex since... well never mind.

Ginny Weasley: I'm not sure... I think I gotta think this over for a while.

Ginny Weasley has signed off

Harry Potter: ANNIE YOU BITCH! *starts man crying* I LOVE HER!

Ginny (Usher) Weasley has signed on

Ginny (Usher) Weasley: take that.

Harry Potter has signed off

Molly Weasley: Sweetheart, even I think that's a LITTLE harsh. You broke his VOLDEMORT KILLING heart! I'll bake that poor boy some muffins.

Molly Weasley has signed off

LordPopozoa: this is... awkward.

LordPopozoa has signed off

(A.N. I KNOW THAT THIS WAS LIKE WAY TOO SHORT TO BE NORMAL AND ACCEPTABLE BUT THIS NEXT PART IS LIGIT MY FAVORITE EVER AND NEEDS TO BE APPRECIATED. like i've already explained this was once aim formed so it has screennames, and for the sake of absolute humor at least two of the screenames of actual characters need to stay the way they are. and yes i realize i've already explained this but i havn't updated in a while and i wanted to take the time to really explain this to you. so enjoy the best part, it's coming up!)


	8. Chapter 8

: This is like a mello-dramatic soap opera! *crying man tears of evil*

Sybill Trelawney: Hey, life isn't like a box of chocolates, cuz i always know what i'm gonna get! NOW RUN FOREST RUN!

Severus Snape: Oh, I feel bad for that dear mello-dramatic Harry and his poor soap opera-like life.

Arthur Weasley: soap operas are romantic though... *jaws theme music* dananananananaananananananana... BATMAN! oh wait, no...

Ginny (Usher) Weasley: I hate this.

Ginny (Usher) Weasley has logged off

Ron Weasley: WAIT! GINNY! don't go! *breaks into song* cuz you remind me of a girl... that I... once knew... still know...

Ginny Weasley has signed on

Ginny Weasley: I am grieving no more.

: Oh damn it! wait... does that mean I can mwahahaha again?

Ginny Weasley: NO. If you do i'll... do this! I death am death ginny death weasley death

Annie Tucker has signed on

Annie Tucker: Oh yeah I have a name by the way. and what's with the death thing? have the frogs started flying?

Severus Snape: I don't want to be a carrot!

Annie Tucker: Carrot Shmarrot! wow... I'm kind of irrelevant.

DaPheonixLament: I'm back! DA. DA DA DA DA DA DA DA. DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA. DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA. DADADADADADADADADADADA...

Ginny Weasley: Ok... we get it.

Hermione Granger: YEAH! WE get the point! I'm RELEVENT...

Annie Tucker: Ginny, are you back together with Harry yet? I know it's been like three seconds, but a lot of shit goes down in three seconds. Kids in indonesia die. and stuff. Anyways, he sent me this shit, and I quote:

Annie you BITCH

wait not that...

Me and Ginny were going to have little red headed babies with green eyes and shmexy noses. They would have looked so cute, with their little freckles and you ruined it. Though my and your green eyes together and your beatuiful brown hair would have been a lovely combination, with your cascading curls and my strange untidy mop that zigs and zugs on my ever-changing brow line...

ugh sorry...

Ginny was so beautiful at Bill and Fleurs wedding and you would have never pulled it off because your skin is so pastey and that white would have washed you out...

... where's the good part... sorry Ginny I'm trying... OH here we go!

But Annie I would seriously much rather sleep with you right now cuz she's pissed and probably dosn't love me anymore and definitely wouldn't let me on that chest right now...

Ok you know what, I tried.

Annie Tucker has logged off

Harry Potter has logged on

Harry Potter: AND TEARS STREAMIN... DOWN MY FACE AND GINNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYY FORGIVVEE MEEEEE

Percy Weasley: I'm Ginny... I swear! oh insanely buff dude, do you believe me?

Harry Potter: What's your favorite day of the year?

Percy Weasley has signed off

Percy (seriously I'm Ginny Weasley) Weasley has signed on

Percy (seriously I'm Ginny Weasley) Weasley: Uhhhhhh... May 6th?

Annie Tucker has signed on

Annie Tucker: THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

... still irrelevant.

Annie Tucker has signed off

Ginny Weasley: The answer is March 15th!

Percy (seriously I'm Ginny Weasley) Weasley: I knew that! I was uh... just testing Harry! Duh.

Harry Potter: WHY is it her favorite day?

Percy (seriously I'm Ginny Weasley) Weasley: Uhh... it's the day Annie is predicted to die?

Annie Tucker has signed on

Annie Tucker: Seriously? If I'm gonna be irrelevant let me do it peacefully.

Annie Tucker has signed off

Sybill Trelawney: And no, that day would be January 29th

Ginny Weasley: So yeah... close. But no. March 15th is the day I lost my virginity to HArry. Or at least... without a condom virginity...

Harry Potter: Ahhh... good times. God that was awesome.

Annie Tucker has signed on

Annie Tucker: OH. MY. GOD. GINNY. look at cho's butt. it is like, so big. she looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends. who understands those rap guys anyways. they only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitue. but i mean her butt. it's just so big. i can't believe it's so round it's just out there... i mean it's gross. she's just so... asian!

DaCaughtUpDude has signed on

DaCaughtUpDude: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CAN NOT LIE YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY

Harry Potter: WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WEIGHST AND THAT ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE YOU GET- nevermind.

DaCaughtUpDude: You get SPRUNG!

A.N. yup. that all just happened.

**Important**: This is the 18 year old speaking, and this is all I had written of my beautiful story. I will continue from here in an attempt to live up to its original glory. Thank you, and please review!


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